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October 4th, 2009
02:27 pm - Moving Day
Looking for new posts from me? They'll be at PaulTevis.com from now on (with an RSS feed here).
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September 12th, 2009
September 10th, 2009
04:33 pm - More Of My Euphonious Voice
Another story I read for PodCastle, Marie Brennan's "A Heretic By Degrees," is up. I struggled with this one, as it demanded that all four of major characters be distinct and real. (Some of that may be due to the character work I'd done just the week before in Barbara Scott's workshop at the VIC.) I hope they come across as clearly to everyone as they did to me.
For reference, here are the seven stories I've read for PodCastle and Escape Pod:
I love doing these, and I hope to do more (and perhaps other voice work) in the future.
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August 21st, 2009
August 19th, 2009
07:55 am - Making Introductions
This past weekend, I met Jess Hartley. I've been aware of her for years, but until now our social circles have only touched and never completely overlapped. Meeting cool new people is one of the reasons that I go to conventions, so I was happy this worked out.
Jess just started a series of articles about geek etiquette, a project she's calling One Geek To Another. The first post deals with introductions, and Jess is right on in pointing out the value of introductions and how rarely they happen well. Connecting people with each other is something I do a lot of, so I wanted to share a few of my techniques for getting introductions right.
If I'm part of a group that someone who I do know comes up to, I'll make introductions unless I'm sure the people have already been introduced. (Watching body language is a good way to figure out if people know each other). My introduction in this case will run something like, "I'm sorry, I don't remember if you've met. Eric, do you know Steve? Steve's the author of X, Eric's the art director at Y." The key is I make it my problem, not the problem of the person who doesn't know everyone else.
If I'm part of a group that someone who I don't know comes up to, I'll wait for a minute for someone else to introduce them. If that doesn't happen (and it often doesn't), I'll take the initiative: "Hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Paul." This a technique I'd like to see more of, as it's not as widespread as the one above.
If I'm the new guy to the group, I'll treat it much like the second situation. If no one is actively engaging me in conversation, I'll wait until there's a break and then introduce myself. This is hard, and it feels awkward, but it's a lot less awkward than not doing it.
The key to all three of these is timing. The more time that goes by without an introduction, the more difficult things get. If a good conversational opening doesn't present itself, I'll jump in with "I'm sorry to interrupt, but..."
This is pretty basic stuff, but as Jess points out, it does a lot to make those awkward social situations less awkward.
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July 29th, 2009
08:51 am - Support Me For The ENnie Awards
I'm up for an award, and I need your help. Two minutes is all it takes.
The Voice of the Revolution, a gaming podcast I co-host with Brennan Taylor and that's produced by Ryan Macklin, has been nominated for the ENnie Award for Best Podcast. The results are based on an online vote, and voting is open to everyone. (It's limited to one vote per person, and restricted by computer/IP address.)
To support Ryan, Brennan, and me, follow these steps:
- Go to http://www.ennie-awards.com/voting/voting.asp
- Scroll down to where it says "17. Best Podcast"
- In the drop-down box next to "The Voice of the Revolution" select "1"If you want to vote for other categories, please consider my friends at Atomic Sock Monkey / Evil Hat, One Bad Egg, Box Ninja, Contested Ground Studios, Green Ronin Publishing, Catalyst Game Labs, and Kunoichi/Archaia.
- Click the "Submit my votes" button at the bottom of the page.
Voting closes on August 1st. Please forward this to anyone you think can help us out.
Thanks!
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June 16th, 2009
07:34 am - A Penny For My Thoughts
Today, the story-telling game I've been working (slowly) on for the last two years is shipping from the warehouse to customers. My comp copies arrived last week, and I'm amazed at how an idea that started as some notes scribbled in the back of a bus has turned into a tangible thing. I'm a little overwhelmed by the whole process, so I'm not really sure what else to say. You can read more about it, check out the promotional website, or order a copy.
Also: Woot!
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June 6th, 2009
08:13 am - Listen To The Cookie
I have a weakness for mediocre Chinese buffets. While there are downsides to this failing, the advantage is that I get to enjoy fortune cookie fortunes often. I suspect I'm not alone in being unable to read a fortune without mentally adding the words "...in bed." (For any Green Hills Software engineers, current or alums, who happen to be reading, I also occasionally amuse myself by adding "...while using the Service Router.") With this in mind, the fortunes that have accumulated on my bedside table recently range from the slightly funny ("Don't worry about the stock market. Invest in family.") to the fairly amusing ("You will receive an unexpected gift from an acquaintance.") to the absurd ("You would prosper in the field of wacky inventions.").
Sometimes, though, the cookies are on to something. On Thursday, I was in the middle of pushing forward on some of my plans for the project I'm managing at work. I was meeting with some resistance, so I decided to get out of the office for a bit and grab an early lunch by myself. I was worked up and nervous, and I had hard time concentrating. I spent most of lunch working through my reasons and questioning whether or not this was the right thing do. At the end of the meal, just as I was getting ready to head back to work, I opened up my cookie and read the fortune inside.
"Assert yourself, your ideas are worthwhile at this time."
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May 28th, 2009
10:23 pm - Read Down The Wind
Every so often I have the honor (and pleasure) of narrating a story for PodCastle (or their big sister, Escape Pod). This week they released The Dreaming Wind by Jeffrey Ford, which I recorded for them back in December. I almost forgotten about it, and it turns out I wasn't the only one. Due to an editorial mixup, they ended up getting two recordings of the story, one by myself and one by Rajan Khanna, and they posted them both. Whichever of the two versions you prefer, I'm glad I was able to read another story for them, and I hope I get the chance to do another one soon.
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May 8th, 2009
05:02 am - Lacking Sleep, But Ok
Last night, as the Jesusita Fire burned rapidly to the west, Gwen, the cats, and I left our house to go stay with our friends Roy and Michelle. They eventually ordered an evacuation for our house, but we were long gone by then. So far as we know, the first hasn't gotten anywhere near our house yet. The fire was very unpredictable yesterday, so they were very aggressive about ordering evacuations. Hopefully we'll find out more about what's going on today, but the bottom line is that we're safe.
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May 6th, 2009
06:25 am - Arete, Purpose, and Virtue
I find myself compelled to write about arete.
In college, I played Sir Thomas More in a production of Robert Bolt's A Man For All Seasons. I can't put my hands on it now, but I recall at the time reading something (possibly by Bolt himself) about what the title could really mean. How could someone truly be "a man for all seasons?" What is a man for? And if he has a purpose, how would we know what it was?
(In a moment of sychronicity, Gwen just walked in wearing a shirt from that production of A Man For All Seasons.)
The ancient Greeks had a concept called arete. In a nutshell, arete is the idea of "excellence" or "virtue" but applied to fulfillment of a particular purpose. So a sharp knife has arete, because it is well-suited to cutting, and that's what knives do. The problem is that I keep applying the lens of arete to how I see myself.
It's not really a problem so much as an ideosyncrocy, I suppose, but it's intellectually challenging. I see myself as acting not out of some cosmic sense of Purpose, but out of a sense of being in the moment. Over the last few years I've turned away from long-term plans and large-scale ideas in favor of constant re-evaluation and re-prioritization. How does arete work in that context?
One way out to see myself as acting purposefully, that my individual actions have purpose even if there is no grand, overarching Purpose to my life. When I act, I want to achieve something. Acting in an effective way towards whatever that specific goal is, then, can be said to have arete. But I'm not sure that really resolves my conundrum.
Virtue and arete are slippery things for me. On a poetic level, I'm attracted to them, but on a rational level, I have a hard time pinning them down. Expect to hear more about them as time goes on.
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April 29th, 2009
07:58 am - And By "Monday" I Mean Wednesday
As I mentioned last week, things have been productively busy. I'm within spitting distance of wrapping up the text for the game writing project I've been working (too slowly) on for the last two years. Yesterday my group turned in our project for the business class I'm taking at City College. Lots of career-related things are working out. All of which means I keep expecting something bad to happen.
I almost wrote that sentence as "All of which means I keep waiting for something bad to happen." That would be lie: I'm not waiting. I've got momentum, and I plan to use it.
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April 23rd, 2009
02:17 pm - Busy, Busy, Busy
The last two weeks have been a blur, and now I'm off for a weekend of camping with friends. I promise an update on Monday with what's been going, because it's pretty exciting. But now, it's time to hit the road.
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April 9th, 2009
02:13 pm - I've Got The Brain On The Brain
I just bought my ticket to hear Oliver Sacks speak at UCSB.
Dr. Sacks is a neurologist and a frequent guest on my favorite radio show and podcast, Radiolab, where he talks about strange things our brains do. This is a topic that fascinates and terrifies me. I have a lot of unresolved questions about the nature of the mind and its relationship to the brain. (I was a Philosophy major in college, which only exacerbated the problem.) I love movies that raise issues of consciousness, memory, and personal identity like Memento and The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Heck, I've even written a storytelling game about these ideas.
Dr. Sacks has written several excellent books about his experiences with patients suffering from neurological disorders that might best be described as "philosophically challenging," so I'm excited to hear him speak. The second chapter of A Penny For My Thoughts starts with this quote from his classic work The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat, and think it sums up what I find interesting about his work:
The patients essential being is very relevant in the higher reaches of neurology, and in psychology; for here the patients personhood is essentially involved, and the study of disease and of identity cannot be disjoined.
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April 3rd, 2009
02:12 pm - Gather 'Round The Fire
This week has been about getting back in touch with my inner extrovert.
It took me a long time to realize that I am an extrovert. When I was a kid, I didn't have many friends, and I spent a lot of time alone. That meant I must have been an introvert, right? Sure enough, every time I took a Myers-Briggs test, I came back as an "I." Nothing simpler than that right?
It turns out that while I thought of myself that way, it was only because I hadn't been in situations that let me think otherwise. It was only after four years of college and about five years of post-college life that I realized, "Hey, I really do draw energy from being around lots of other people, don't it?" (This stands in stark contrast to Gwen, who really is an introvert and finds those same situations exhausting.) But eventually I figured it out, and I got comfortable with it.
Over the last year, however, I've interacted with people (particularly online) a lot less than I have in the past. This is mostly due to my efforts to cut back on and refocus my activities. But As a result, people didn't email, IM, or call me as much as they used to. What I failed to do until recently was recognize that my diminishing social contact was my fault.
Earl Nightingale talks about expecting things from the world. It's simple: the more you serve the world, the more you receive. And it has to start with you. You don't expect the stove to get hot, he asks, before you put wood in it, do you? That's precisely what I thought was going to happen. I'd let my fire, which I'd spent several years building, burn down, and I needed to put more wood in it.
That's what this week has been about for me. I've been posting here, dipping back into forums, getting back in contact with folks, and generally trying to warm things back up. What's surprised me is how quickly I've seen a change, not only in the world, but in myself.
Let's keep that fire going. If I've let things grow a little cool, talk to me, leave a comment, or IM me, or email me, or whatever. I love to connect with people. I thrive on it. And I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out.
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April 2nd, 2009
12:21 pm - The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea
Numerous people have introduced me to the Cult of Done Manifesto, which holds a certain terrible fascination for me. Caught as I am in the never-ending development cycle for A Penny For My Thoughts ("The smallest game ever to take two years to finish!"), I can't deny its appeal. But as I was talking with Ryan today, I realized that for me, it's the Scylla to perfectionism's Charbydis. The true path is between them, sometimes towards one, other times the other. My struggle is to recognized when I've gotten too close to one of them, so I can row at top speed toward the other.
With Penny, it's time to head for the Scylla. Yes, there are warts. No, it's not perfect. But it is time to get it done. There is no one right way to do things; it's a matter of picking the right tool for the job. For this job, right now, this is the right tool.
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April 1st, 2009
08:41 am - Smart Is Dumb
The problem with being smart is that I think I understand stuff.
My particular version of this problem is that I think I understand something I've encountered before. I heard or read or see something that makes sense to me, and I think, "Oh, I get it." And I do. I just don't internalize it and act on it. And then, some number of months later when I see reference to the same idea again, I skip over it, because I think I already understand it. But I don't. I know it, but I don't understand it. And the dumb part of being smart is that I don't let myself go back over the idea again in detail, reflected against my experience since the last time I encountered it.
(This happens with all sorts of ideas and to a frustrating extent. Rather than make a list, let's just assume that if I've written about it here, I've gone through this process with it.)
If I'm lucky, I'll finally encounter the idea after I've once again failed to fully understand it. If I'm lucky, I'll not realize that it's same idea until after I've consumed it again and let my experiences shuffle around it. And then, if I'm actually smart (and don't just think I'm smart), I'll finally understand it and let it make a difference in my life.
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March 31st, 2009
09:40 am - Internet Micro-Fame Is A Drug
As someone who has been publicly recognized for my work, I often worry that if what I'm doing isn't recognized, how could it possibly be as good as what I did before? Is my best work behind me?
Yesterday I read this in The Artist's Way:
Fame is a spiritual drug. It is often a by-product of our artistic work, but like nuclear waste, it can be a very dangerous by-product. Fame, the desire to attain it, the desire to hold on to it, can produce the "How am I doing?" syndrome. This question is not "Is the work going well?" This question is "How does it look to them?"
The point of the work is the work. Fame interferes with that perception. Instead of acting being about acting, it becomes about being a famous actor. Instead of writing being about writing, it becomes about being recognized, not just published.
We all like credit where credit is due. As artists, we don't always get it. Yet, focusing on fame -- on whether we are getting enough -- creates a continual feeling of lack. There is never enough of the fame drug. Wanting more will always snap at our heels, discredit our accomplishments, erode our joy at another's accomplishment. [...]
What we are really scared of is that without fame we won't be loved -- as artists or as people. The solution to this is concrete, small, loving actions. We must actively, consciously, consistently, and creatively nuture our artist selves.
When the fame drug hits, go to your easel, your typewriter, your camera or clay. Pick up the tools of your work and begin to do just a little creative play.
Soon, very soon, the fame drug should start to lessen its hold. The only cure for the fame drug is creative endeavor. Only when we are being joyfully creative can we release the obsession with others and how they are doing.
Yep, that's about right.
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March 30th, 2009
10:36 am - Things And Time
Time is a problem for a dabbler like me. When I want to do something, I want to do it well. I've learned enough to know that if I want to do it well, I need to do it regularly. There are only so many hours in the week, which means that if I want to do something, I need to not do something else. The problem is that I want to do everything. This inevitably means I want to do more things than I can do regularly, and thus I end up clinging to things that I do infrequently, taking time away from things I could do well, and spiraling into an overbooked and yet unproductive schedule.
Sigh.
As Gwen has said before, I don't have a problem with commitment. I have a problem with decisions.
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March 20th, 2009
08:50 am - Korea: In Search Of Adventure
My sense of time while I was in Seoul was distinctly screwed up, due to both the time zone difference and to working the night shift. By the time I left the customer facility on Tuesday morning, I had come to terms with the idiosyncrasies of my schedule. Working nights meant that I would be able to do touristy stuff until the early afternoon, provided I was willing to push myself a little. Encouraged by my initial foray the previous day, I decided to give the subway a try.
I'd heard and read that Seoul's subway system was very friendly to English speakers, but I hadn't anticipated how friendly. All of the signs were in both hangeul and Roman characters, and the pre-recorded announcements on the trains were in both Korean and English. The stations were incredibly well-signed, and there were maps everywhere. I can't say for certain that it was the easiest public transportation system I've every used, but I can't come up with a better one right now.
I did manage to have two misadventures getting onto the subway. I first had a little trouble buying a T-money card, caused by my inability to speak Korean and the price being listed incorrectly in my guidebook. The cashier kept trying to get me to do something I didn't understand, but I eventually realized that the problem could be solved by handing over more cash. (T-money, by the way, is totally from the future.) Then, as I was rushing to catch the subway train that was just about to depart the station, I didn't quite look at the sign and ended up on a train going the opposite direction from where I had intended. I had been planning on taking a short jaunt over to the COEX Mall as an exploratory mission, but I was now headed the wrong way. Undaunted, I looked up at the system map, pulled out my guidebook, and decided to take the leap and head further afield.
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